Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
