we have pet lesbian snakes
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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