thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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