At least make sure they are 18
Why
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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