I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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