Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
