first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
