The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
