RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
