Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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