I will die if light touches me.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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