I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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