That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
