I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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