drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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