Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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