Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
be right there i have to get my cape
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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