Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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