Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize