I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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