whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just had sex on a roof
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
