So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
