If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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