Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
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Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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