Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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