who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
