I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
