i just had sex bonerless
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
