Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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