i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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