I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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