nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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