The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
