erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
