Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I came so hard my ears popped.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize