Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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