I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So apparently I’m into choking now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
