He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize