Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize