I think I died a long time ago.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
