I'm so fucking centered right now
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
