I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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