omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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