Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
