Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize