dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you have to choose: penises or morals?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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