I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Boobs speak an international language.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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