So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
