Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
