No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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