I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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