So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
