I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
