i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
