i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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