In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
