We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize