you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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