Moan for me like Helen Keller
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
