I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
