i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
