I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize