Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
