Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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