Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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