I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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