I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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