the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize