Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
