Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
