She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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