Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
