when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
