I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
