Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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