Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
